Lost In a Rabbit Hole!

 

You see me.

Of course you do,

like a reflection in the mirror.

But what lies beneath…

Something that might kill you if you come closer intact,

or if you want to consume it fully…

Something fatal.

That’s what lies behind those stories you heard,

the laughs you’ve seen.

You saw what was shown,

telecasted like a TV show,

edited out all those bad scenes

and made a feel-good story to play with you.

A manipulation that feels like love.

Then what are you really?

Are you the one that has been seen by others,

or are you the one that’s hidden away from the light

and built a wall around it?

Or are you the whole of it?

Are you aware you are fooling yourself,

thinking that you are wise—

wiser?

Being that trial version, how does it feel?

Like a temp file

that got lost along the way unnoticed…

Like a short haiku hoping to stay in the memory,

but sadly not forever.

Being the pages that they look back at and laugh,

and feel nostalgic,

sometimes a little sad

with tears rolling apart.

Is that what freedom costs?

Is it really freedom

at the cost of people—

people you love,

you cared for,

and to yourself sometimes…

Leaving all behind

to uncertainty…

Going into the rabbit hole

to see if someone comes to you,

knowing that no one will.

And ending up in the world of fantasy and delusions

that cut you off from reality.

And getting lost in the land of delusions,

thinking, believing that someone will enter the rabbit hole

to look you up.

But being captured forever there,

as no one noticed you left already…

Long gone.

Forgotten.

That’s the only forever

that has a chance in this life.

          -Keerthi Thirunavukkarasu